IWSG: The Waiting Game

The ISWG is a blog hop where writers can share their fears and insecurities about the writing life. To learn more, check out their website here.

I have a feeling June will be a hard month for me. I finished my first draft of my WIP, I am done querying Small Things but am waiting to hear from a few agents, and I don’t think I’m ready to tackle revisions to my first book, Damaged.

Why, then, will June be difficult?

Because the last thing I want to spend June doing is not writing. I have a ton of faith that Blackberry Jam will be my best book yet, and I cannot wait to dive in to revisions and start making it into a good book. However, what it needs right now is time to simmer, and what I need right now is time to forget about it. But I have no idea if I’ll have that patience. So far I’ve gone from writing the first word to querying the book in no more than about a year per book. It’s probably been too immature, especially in the first book I queried. I don’t want to screw this one up and send it out into the world before it’s ready.

However, I don’t trust myself to do it. Even though I’m a perfectionist, I also suffer from “I could have been a child prodigy” syndrome, where every step I take away from having someone say, “She’s done this and she’s only X years old!”  (i.e., basically every unproductive day that passes) is a step that terrifies me. I’m already well into territory of adulthood, where no one gives a damn how old I am. But I still have to keep myself from rushing through a project so I have a chance of being a published author before I turn 30 (in just over two years, if you were curious). It’s a silly thing to be insecure about, I know–being average–but… it is what it is, I guess. I think I would much rather be 31 or 32 (or–gasp!–even older) as a debut author with an excellent book than a 29-year-old debut author with a mediocre one.

Comments

  1. 32-gasp!- is right, lol! That’s what I’ll be this month. Where does the time go? Good luck w/keeping away, maybe you’ll get a shiny new idea that will keep you distracted.

    • haha, yes. I used 30 as a hard deadline for so many things when I was younger… managed to have both my kids before 30, and start a career I love in editing, but so much for “child prodigy” at that age. 🙂 Let me say–30 is a lot younger than I used to think it was.

    • Thank you! Yeah, I hear that turning 30 happens to the best of us. But I preferred the days when the only person (marginally) younger than me who was undeniably successful was Taylor Swift. 🙂 Now there are way too many to count.

  2. Getting the book you love published is a great goal. Don’t worry about the small stuff. Being published is not the end of the journey, just the beginning.
    Hold on!

    Keep moving forward.
    Heather M. Gardner
    IWSG Co-Host

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